I've really been fighting with myself over whether or not I should post about this, but I feel like I need to just post it.
Being away from my family, truly away, must be one of the most difficult things that I will do in my life.
As an American, I've grown up with a strong sense of independence.
Without even realizing it, I've put emphasis on being an individual my entire life.
I know I'm not alone in thinking that I can do things by myself and I don't need to depend on others to accomplish my goals.
It's American culture.
Living here, I've realized that the sense of independence I had was really a farce. Sure, I would've been out of the house if I would've gotten a job in America, but I could've still visited my parents any time I wanted. The dependence on family would still have been there.
Now, I find myself doing things in Taiwan and wishing that I could have my family with me so I could show them every single thing that I love about this country.
I don't think I truly appreciated my family until I was physically apart from them.
I've realized that no amount of friends can replace my family.
No friend, no matter how close, can give advice like my mom or help me with financial stuff like my dad. No one can tease me like my brothers or be as loving as my grandparents. (I could go on and on with all of my other family members.)
I know what homesickness is now.
It's not a wish for that certain kind of pizza (Picadilly's pepperoni and pineapple) or a specific smell (dad mowing the lawn in the springtime). It's not missing being able to do things I could do at home (driving) or places I could go (Walmart...weird, I know).
It's a complete realization of how important my family is in my life. It's understanding that my family is still living that life I'd been living my whole life up to moving away- and truly missing it.
That is what homesickness is.
This post doesn't mean that I'm regretting what I've done. As I've posted before, I wasn't happy living in Wisconsin. It didn't feel right.
This post doesn't mean that I am a depressed heap of person over here.
It means that I've finally realized how much my family means to me.
I'm jealous of people who could realize that without going halfway across the world.
So, if you're anywhere near your family, give them a BIG hug and kiss because every day I wish that I could.
